Eldership Constellations

With Zena Me

An opportunity to work with me on a one-on-one

Dearest friend,If you’re here, you’re wanting to explore a one-on-one constellation session with me.Before I say more about the process, let me explain my thoughts about Eldership and Executive Coaching and Constellations…

1. Ethics First

Back in 2001 I trained as an Executive Coach based on Gestalt models and theory. At the time coaching as a profession was very much an emerging field and the teachers were either from the field of sports / psychology or therapy.It was my first step into deeper psychological waters and although I could see the power of this process, it also concerned me that most of the students (including me), had limited experience of these deeper mysterious waters and therefore could potentially be leading our clients onto ‘unsafe’ ground.The idea of supervision in the field of coaching and development wasn’t yet established and at this time wasn’t seen as an essential requirement of the work. Also, there was no real recognition of the need for the coach to have done their ‘own inner work’ as there was in therapy.I guess when a new field emerges it’s always a bit rooky until it starts to see the impact and the need for structure and organisation.Needless to say, I witnessed a lot of dodgy practice in the coaching field in these early days (even with training and qualifications) and saw people in the workplace being unconsciously traumatised through the process.So I trod cautiously into the field and focused a significant amount of time and resources on getting to know my inner landscape, pattern and wounds and intuitively investing in the right training to heal them. This deepened my practice and made sure that I was always standing on solid ground.

2. The Importance of Integrity

One of the principles I grew up with was that to be a leader who commanded respect you’d need to have:“Walked the streets”.My dad was a Police Officer and back then they believed that a leader must know the field through lived experience, not just learning from a text book.I’ve been in personal therapy and therapy groups and had my own coach and for over twenty five years.This has brought me a higher self awareness, humility, compassion and an understanding of my own trauma and wounding patterns. It’s also given me the capacity to hold space and safely work with other people and their patterns.Over thirty years I have seen, trained and applied hundreds of ‘models’. All of them have had their place and are useful. Through my trainings, teachings and experience of applying these models I realised that:‘One size really doesn’t fit all’So now I’ve taken everything I’ve learnt over those thirty years and have distilled it into my own way of working.Don’t get me wrong, I love my models and theories, but now my expertise is firmly rooted in choosing the right approach, process, model etc to you, the situation and the matter in hand.The only thing that really matters is, does it work (in practice)?This is about you and me working together (with me as a resource) to support you in illuminating and untangling the stubborn patterns that hide beneath the surface of the system.

3. Responsibility and Agency

Heather Plett talks about the importance of:“Letting a person navigate liminal space with their own agency”One of the challenges of any form of 'depth coaching' is to allow the person their own agency and to not hijack it in any way. But the truth is there’s often a hidden contract which is a paradox for the coach and the client.To feel good about themselves and their work, the coach wants to feel like they’ve helped ‘solved the client’s problem’. This makes the coach then feel ‘bigger than’ their client and needed.And the client’s part in this dynamic is that they too want the coach to help solve their issue! (Isn’t that why they called them in in the first place)?The trouble is that this creates an entanglement and a co-dependent relationship, one that mirrors the parent-child dynamic. It’s a hard thing for the coach to give up.For years I wrestled with this dynamic. It’s good for the ego when you’re called into help. But what happens if you can’t help? What happens if there is no easy solution to the problem the client is facing?

SO HERE'S MY OFFER: ELDERSHIP CONSTELLATIONS COACHING

A number of times a month I offer some one-on-one constellations sessions for £300 (for those paying personally) and £850 for those whose organisations pay for them.If you're a member of my Elders Practice Group, you’ll get them for £150.If you want to record the session that's okay with me. It means you can go back and listen to it again.If you want to do these sessions in person (via a walk in nature) that's okay too. The cost is £450 as we normally spend a longer time together.I've also done them on the phone on a walk and talk, which works great too.P.s. If you'd like to buy a package I'm happy to offer a discount, so please contact me to discuss.

WHAT ARE CONSTELLATIONS?

“In all chaos there is a cosmos. In all disorder a secret order.” — Carl JungSystemic constellations is a pioneering, innovative process that brings an unprecedented level of clarity to illuminate and resolve dilemmas and complex issues that lie hidden in our unconscious awareness.The Constellations Process creates a 3D model that brings fresh information, profound insight, simplicity and movement that re-energises and brings agency and direction back to individuals, groups, organisations and communities.Based on the work of the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger in body, group and family therapy, Senior Leaders in European Businesses began to see that Constellations could be applied to organisations to navigate past the blocks and resistance to resolving complex dilemmas they were facing.Success in companies such as BMW and IBM has now meant that there’s a strong and growing interest in this fascinating process all over the world.I work with you to explore the underlying ‘Source‘ of the issue by identifying patterns and dis-entangling difficult dynamics to bring clarity, fresh resources and resolution.By placing you in the context of the larger ‘truths’ of the system, together we:1. Identify hidden loyalties, patterns and entanglements
2. Illuminate new insights
3. Restore clarity
4. Raise your confidence and
5. Bring a powerful sense of integration and coherence.The constellation process works with the WHOLE system, the ‘Heart, Head, Soul and Gut‘ and offers something which feels ‘beyond words’.The benefits remain deeply with the client at an embodied level. It encourages people to get out of their head and work from their felt sense at an intuitive level of knowing that is very different from our normal understanding of knowing.

When To Use This Approach

The Constellations process can be useful when:

  • Something is stuck or theres a recurring patterns or problem that’s hard to resolve

  • There’s a recurring conflict in your relationship(s)

  • Someone whose skilled and experienced but is struggling to fully occupy their role

  • There’s an awareness of the impact of an issue but you’re not sure what may be causing it

  • There’s a conflict and the source is uncertain or doesn’t seem to make any logical sense

  • There’s been an intervention but it hasn’t worked or hasn’t been sustainable

  • There’s frequent miscommunication and misunderstandings

  • There’s a need for some fresh perspective on a difficult / complex issue

  • There’s strong judgement about issues or people

  • You’re not certain of a way forward because of ambivalence and or ambiguity

  • You’re experiencing apathy, ambivalence or resistance

  • People are defending each other as if against some kind of ‘invisible enemy’

  • There are rebels and ‘black sheep’ and scape goats

  • People say and agree to do one thing and then do another

  • There’s a lack of respect in the family, team or culture

What Can You Expect From This Approach?

  • Higher awareness that supports visionary thinking

  • More authenticity, agency and authority

  • A more embodied Eldership Presence

  • An ability to connect and engage with others more deeply

  • Greater courage and ease with change

  • Confidence and capacity to manage relationships and conflict

  • A powerful ‘Practice’ to support ongoing eldership development

  • A deeper resonance and courageous 'voice'

  • Higher levels of trust, collaboration and engagement

  • More creative thinking for dealing with complexity and resolving dilemmas

  • A feeling of wholeness and internal integration

ABOUT ME

I specialise in Eldership and am the Founder of the Eldership Leaders and the Community of Elders.For over 30 years I've worked with Senior Leaders in blue chip companies such as GE Capital, Lloyds bank, Marshalls PLC, Capita, LV Insurance, Covance, the Department of Work and Pensions and many Local Government organisations.But my greatest accomplishment so far has been doing the kind of work that changes mind sets that inspires social change.I've helped hundreds of Senior Leaders, Coaches and Constellators just like you, to connect to their deeper purpose and talents, so they can walk the path of Eldership and make a unique difference in their chosen field.

Deep smileZena x